I’ve been noticing a plethora of articles lately about the science of hugs. How beneficial a hug can be, the optimal number of hugs required for a better day/month/life, and how a lack of hugging creates all of the negative energy in the world. My philosophy of hugging?
I will not play at tug o’ war.
I’d rather play at hug o’ war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins. –Shel Silverstein
When we are discouraged, overwhelmed, or feel worthless, it can be very difficult to find any good, either in ourselves or the world around us. Being thankful just doesn’t cross our minds.
During my recovery from an emotionally abusive relationship, I did just as Shanty challenged. I started listing things for which I was thankful.
At first it was hard! She didn’t call it a challenge without reason! I was so accustomed to focusing on my own failures and inadequacies (or what I believed at that time) that I didn’t even see all the good around me.
Closing my eyes and thinking of what self esteem means is like asking me to jump of a mountain with a bungee cord. The trust has to be there, and the positive vibes in order to not think one will die. Now self esteem isn’t death, but it is scary. As a female, I battle the stereotypical and ideal looks we face daily. Not being thin enough, or pretty enough. My self esteem takes a massive amount of armor to get out the door. But behind closed doors, away from the negative vibes of the world, I like me.
I sat there in my chair in my fifth grade classroom. You know the chairs that were attached to the school desk, back about thirty years ago. There I was a whopping seventy pounds and four feet, ten inches. I was little, or so I thought until a girl sitting beside me told me how fat my thighs were. My little framed hunched over, my head fell down in shame, and I accepted her painful and harsh words into my soul. I was broken.
Hate darkens the days; forgive and let the sun shine in.
After reading Looking Glass Lies, I decided to take on Shanty’s Be You Challenge and I’ll share my thoughts on #4, “Make a list of people who have committed offenses against you. Then, forgive them.” It sounds simple. First of all, it’s very difficult to name these people because I live in the same town with them and we all know the same people much like in the Mended Hearts series which also caused me to relive my past but at the same time it was comforting to know that someone understood.
There is a plethora of mistakes I could choose from but I’ll take the biggest and most notable: I got married. That in itself was not the mistake; the mistake was (at least) two-fold: I was too young and I married the wrong person. If that sounds simplistic, it’s not.
It wasn’t my age so much as my need to be liked—I thought it was love but didn’t have a clue what love truly is. And if I thought my self-esteem was low… let’s just say I married down, meaning my husband’s self-esteem was lower than mine. However veiled my vision, I did have faith and I did have some knowledge of God’s Word in my head if not my heart.
Welcome to Day Two of Shanty’s BE YOU Challenge! Today Tatiyana Edmondson shares a lovely letter she wrote to herself for the second challenge which is to: Write and tell yourself you’re beautiful and amazing, then tell yourself why. I hope you’re working the challenge along with us and that you’re striving to improve your mental self-talk because EVERY WOMAN IS BEAUTIFUL #forNina
Welcome to Day One of Shanty’s BE YOU Challenge! Today Beth Bulow discusses the first item on our list. #1 – Make a list of things you like about yourself. Name at least five. (Beth only listed four, but we couldn’t care less! This exercise isn’t about rules; it’s about healing and growth.) I hope you’re working the challenge along with us and that you’re striving to improve your mental self-talk. By the end of the challenge, we will have grown, and we’ll be firm believers that EVERY WOMAN IS BEAUTIFUL #forNina
Low. Self. Image. I detest those three words. Or maybe that’s just two words, if you hyphenate self-image. Either way, I’m tired of hearing the phrase because I’m tired of working on my own self, but I’ve been at the battle long enough that I’ve come up with a list of tasks that can help you feel better about you.