The Voices Within

The Voices Within

I’m vaguely aware of my dog’s paw, small and gentle, on my shoulder. His tap, tap, tapping, pulls me from the fog of slumber.
“No,” I mumble, certain day has not yet broken night.
As I roll away from my persistent pup, a knife stabs at the base of my neck and thousands of needles drill into my right shoulder, arm, hand, and fingers. I moan, though not audibly. Instead the moan rises within. Echoes within. Resides within.
Within.
That dark space where I bury pain.

The Tangle of Shame in Motherhood

The Tangle of Shame in Motherhood

by Carey Scott
“Mom, I can’t take it anymore.”
I stood up, closed the refrigerator door, and turned to see my then-third-grade son standing behind me. He was crying.
“What’s happened, Sam?”
He began to unpack his struggle of the past three years – events he’d kept hidden from me and my husband. As I sat and listened, tears rolled quietly down my cheeks. But inside I was screaming.

When Insecurity Tries to Take Over

When Insecurity Tries to Take Over

By JAMIE LAPEYROLERIE
I didn’t wear a hat, cap or beanie for over a decade. The reason? Because a high school boy (you know, the really mature ones), said I looked like a guy wearing a baseball cap. Was it true? Nope. Did I believe it? Yep. At that time my hair was long and curly and I thought I was rocking a fun style. I wore it the rest of that day because it was either that or hot mess curls, but after that I tucked away any hats, caps or beanies until I was in my late 20s.

The Unwelcome Guest in Your Home: Pornography

The Unwelcome Guest in Your Home: Pornography

Have you discovered that pornography showed up in your home like an uninvited guest, unpacked her bags, and isn’t catching on that she is UNwelcome? If so, let me begin by telling you that I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that this is a post that caught your attention and felt like the promise of a cold drink in the middle of your desert.
I’m sorry that you may feel like you don’t even know the man who sits across from you at breakfast.

Divorced Shame

Divorced Shame

The bell opening my title fight against shame clanged on December 1, 2009.
DING! I discovered my husband was leading a secret, double life.
DING! He just wanted to save face, cut losses, and disappear.
DING! Nineteen years invested in that relationship down the drain.
Divorce proceedings followed. Dividing stuff that didn’t matter ensued. Four fleeting months later, I had an ex-husband. Ex-dreams. An ex-me.
KNOCKOUT.

Shame … WOW!!

Shame … WOW!!

I couldn’t sleep.
I hadn’t slept in days.
In all truth, I haven’t slept since 1995.
But, this wasn’t baby induced insomnia. Or kid induced; it wasn’t financial, scholastic, or any of the usual reasons I never get any sleep.
This sleeplessness was self-loathing induced.
The onset was a picture I saw of myself on Facebook at a basketball game.
I don’t make excuses, still I had a list of defenses that were binding but… indefensible to me.
I, my most ruthless critic, never give myself a break.

From Surviving to Thriving: the Survivor of a Polygamist Cult Shares her Story

From Surviving to Thriving: the Survivor of a Polygamist Cult Shares her Story

by Anna LeBaron
I’ve had an issue with weight gain since I escaped my father’s polygamist cult at thirteen years old. I don’t always discuss my struggle about my weight with just anyone, though I’ve talked about it endlessly with my closest girlfriends. Today, I’m making an exception to that rule for only the second time in my life. As children, my siblings and I were often hungry and sometimes even malnourished. We were raised on welfare and some of the foods we ravenously scarfed down were obtained by “dumpster diving” behind grocery stores.

The 3 Voices That Tell Us We’re Ugly … and how to hush them up

The 3 Voices That Tell Us We’re Ugly … and how to hush them up

I’ve decided to stop thinking I’m ugly. And to stop believing the voices that tell me I am.
The loudest voice, with the battery-powered megaphone, is the media, which daily shouts beauty requirements and tells me I must look a certain way in order to find true happiness. And somehow the movies and advertisements and billboards and magazines and memes and apps make it SO VERY BELIEVABLE.